“Who Are You Really?” Dr. Pam Bro, Ph.D. October 5, 2016
Who are we really, my friends? Who is our authentic self? Or several authentic selves, if we’re truly Renaissance people, which I know many of you are. Sadly our culture doesn’t prize or reward us very often for that. Specialization is valued over generalized and widely varied interests and talents. Frustrating as that may be (I know I’m often frustrated), we have the opportunity to dig deep within ourselves to contact, to connect with, who we really are: our likes and dislikes, our gifts, our fears and dream–and to shine brightly, to take up space! Scary but liberating, huh?! Of course our true self may evolve as we grow, so we need to keep paying close attention to who we truly are, or are becoming, not who someone else or the culture wants us to be. I get daunted sometimes; I lose sight of myself; but a new day always dawns and I can start again to reconnect with me, myself and I (thanks, JJ!)
I recently heard two true stories which serve as inspiring reminders: to be an authentic, one-of-a-kind person, like the glorious golden aspen leaves on the trees around me and to treat others as special, too.
The first story took place at a clown-in-training workshop. Each clown wannabe prepared his or her schtick and then came before the other students to perform. Before each presentation, the clown teacher would direct the other students in secret: “No matter how good she is, boo and hiss at her.” “Or “No matter how bad he is, clap and hoot and cheer him on.” The purpose obviously is to toughen the would-be clown’s skin, to encourage them to take their self-worth and their creativity FROM INSIDE THEMSELVES, not from the (fickle) crowds. I wish I had had this training early in life—I’ve spent way too many hours, even years, trying to be a crowd-pleaser and get their adoration in order to convince me of my innate goodness and creativity. But it’s never too late and we can start now to love ourselves unconditionally and with our whole being. This is a life-long task, but there is nothing more important than self-care and compassion, because then we can…
Well, the second story illustrates the next goal. Years ago, Southwest Airlines was interviewing candidates to become flight attendants. The first assignment, for the large group of 20 or so, was to write down some interesting facts about themselves and then introduce themselves to the group. Several SW employees were in the back of the room with clipboards in hand, continually taking notes. After the exercise, the leader revealed that the employees had been taking notes NOT on the presentation of each candidate, but on the reactions of the rest of the group. If someone was ignoring the presenter so that they could polish up their own presentation, they were downgraded. But if someone was sitting on the edge of their seat, totally engaged with the speaker and responding with enthusiasm to whatever the speaker said, they received high marks! Tricky and pretty smart, huh?! It’s so crucial to pay attention to our true selves AND, in this lovely spiritual paradox, just as crucial to pay attention to others in our midst!
A brand new preacher student was guest preaching at a house of worship. He was doing a terrible job, stumbling over words, forgetting things, slurring his speech…even he knew it. But he was puzzled at the reaction of one older lady in the congregation who periodically would pipe up enthusiastically with phrases like: “You go, preacher!” “Tell it!” “Amen, brother!” After the service, the inexperienced student went up to the woman and asked her why she had reacted to his terrible preaching with such joy, to which she replied, “Just because you aren’t doing your job, Pastor, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do mine!”
Friends, companions on this crazy spiritual journey, let’s continue to be and love our authentic selves and enjoy the authentic beauty of each other!
